Zane: #7 (Allen Securities) Page 5

Chapter Nine

  Ellen lay awake in bed. Zane’s little house was still as she listened to the sounds of the busy traffic on the nearby road. More than a few horns squealed in the night.

  Zane might have a better delivery place nearby, but she missed the quiet of her little street and the fact that no light filtered into her bedroom. She could just lay there in the dark listening to the insects outside. No horns. No sirens.

  So many nights she’d drifted off to sleep doing just that, her heart at peace.

  But this wasn’t her house. Instead she was once again in Zane’s bed. Even the shower and clean clothes hadn’t eased the tension in her body.

  They had talked a bit more after dinner about what they would do the next day. She still didn’t quite get how his friend Tanya was going to make her unrecognizable without making it obvious she was wearing some sort of disguise.

  A bit of irritation had bubbled in her chest when she heard the other woman’s name. It was hard not to imagine all sorts of things about this other woman and who she was to Zane, but Ellen had no reason to even care.

  It wasn’t her business. Zane wasn’t her boyfriend. Hell, they hadn’t even talked in years. But the feeling lingered. She wanted to know what relationship they had.

  Maybe Ellen was stepping into his life only to cause trouble in a different sort of way. Her heart ached as the thought settled over her.

  Everything about her current situation sucked. She was being hunted by the Russian mob, and now she was being tortured with a chance of love she could never have, something she accepted five years before.

  Or at least she thought she had.

  Ellen sighed and sat up in bed.

  None of it was doing any good. If she kept thinking about everything, she was just going to dig herself into a hole she wouldn’t be able to get out of. And that wouldn’t do a damn bit of good the next day.

  She couldn’t be exhausted. Whether she had some sort of disguise or not, she was still going to be walking into a place filled with mobsters who wanted her dead. Anything that might make them suspicious could cost her life, or Zane’s.

  A groan escaped her lips. She needed sleep.

  Warm milk. It was the only trick that seemed to still work on her when she couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was just psychosomatic. She didn’t care as long as it worked.

  Ellen crept toward the living room where Zane was sleeping on the couch. She could hear his deep, steady breaths and smiled at how soundly he slept. Of course he wouldn’t let something like a few murderous mobsters keep him from getting to sleep.

  Danger had never been something to worry him. Even as kids, Zane and Dean had always been the ones to go at everything full speed, even if it ended in a spectacular bang, or an injury or two.

  The light filtered into the room from a streetlight just outside the house. It was just bright enough that she could make out the details of the room around her. Ellen moved over to where he was and watched the steady rise and fall of his chest.

  Zane had always been such a mystery to her. He would come over and was always so polite, but there just seemed to be a wall built up around him, like he was doing his best to never let anyone get too close. Still, the hints from his true heart always leaked through when he was around her, when he could allow himself to relax.

  Maybe that was what drew her to him. Knowing that she got to see through the crack in his wall and that the person there was worth knowing.

  For the first time, she realized that Zane had taken his shirt off before crashing on the couch. This close she could see the deep contours of his muscles as they shifted in his sleep.

  She couldn’t help but lick her lips. He really had an amazing body. Not that it was the only thing that mattered, but it sure as hell didn’t hurt.

  A car drove past on the street, its bright headlights filling the room for a moment. The illumination allowed her to see Zane’s chest in greater detail.

  She frowned at an odd spot on his chest. Moving a little closer, Ellen stared.

  It didn’t look like something you’d get from a fight. She’d stitched up plenty of small lacerations. No, the skin was puckered in such a way that she was sure that it had to be a burn. Her gaze drifted to his arm, and there she found another mark. And then another.

  The areas were faded and old, like this had happened years ago, and they had long since done their best to heal.

  Surely, that wasn’t right though. If he’d gotten those years ago, she would have seen them. Or he would have said where they came from.

  It just didn’t make sense with what she knew. She knew he could get in some rough scrapes, but this didn’t look like something you got from a fistfight.

  They had seen each other every day. This wasn’t something she would have missed. Even if she hadn’t seen him without his shirt off, he would have mentioned it.

  At least she thought he would. Now she couldn’t be so sure.

  Ellen moved her hand forward to run across the spot on his chest.

  A firm hand grasped her wrist and gave a hard tug. She yelped as she fell onto warm, hard flesh.

  “Shit,” Zane mumbled, his eyes flicking open. “I thought…”

  They moved at the same time to detangle. This only seemed to make matters worse when he sat up, and she fell forward into his lap, nearly doing a face plant square in his boxer-clad lap.

  Her face flushed, and she sat up between his legs on her knees.

  Clearly this wasn’t much better, but Zane was already flipping on the lamp next to him.

  When he turned her way, they stared at one another for moment, she between his legs and more than a little embarrassed.

  “I was just…” she began.

  The words died on her lips. What was she supposed to say exactly? That she was going to just touch him a little as he slept? Yeah, that didn’t sound creepy or stalkerish at all.

  “Warm milk,” she said quickly. “I wanted warm milk. To help me sleep.”

  Zane stared at her for a moment, and she wondered if he was rethinking helping her. She might if the situation was reversed.

  He gave a firm nod and then helped her sit down on the couch next to him. “I’ll get a glass.”

  Ellen sighed on the couch and tried to calm her racing heart, but she wasn’t sure that was possible with him walking around in just his underwear.

  “I should have just stayed in my bed,” she muttered.

  Chapter Ten

  Zane popped the milk in the microwave and leaned against the counter. He was supposed to be keeping his distance, not ending up with her in his lap.

  He grunted. It was a miracle that Ellen didn’t see the raging boner he was sporting. Waking up with someone next to him, only to discover it was Ellen after the fact, was killing his resolve to be a good guy.

  Fuck, he wanted her, especially when her face came just an inch from pressing fully against his cock.

  He groaned. Even just thinking about it made him hard all over.

  Zane could still her with her cheeks flushed, lips red, and chest rising and falling in the t-shirt he had given her to wear.

  Hot as hell. That was the only way to describe it. Hotter than hell.

  Zane pulled the mug out of the microwave and gave the milk a little stir. It was warm enough but not too hot.

  He smiled as he carried the cup into the other room. At least some things never changed, even after so many years.

  “Still drinking milk when you can’t sleep?”

  She watched him over the back of the couch. Her gaze wandered down his mostly unclothed body.

  Zane gritted his teeth. She had no idea what she was doing to him, he told himself. He was only helping her out because she was in danger.

  He wasn’t going to give into his urges. He couldn’t. It’d be bad for both of them in the end.

  Besides, she might not even be interested in him. She’d moved on and only come to him because she was in danger, not because she was looking for a boyfriend. Then again,
she had been checking him out.

  Ellen smiled when he handed her the mug. “Thanks,” she said quietly.

  She took a few drinks and set the mug next to her on his end table. When she turned back around, he could see that her eyes were still fixed on his chest.

  After a moment, he realized her obsession with his body was probably not about his pecs or abs.

  Zane cursed. He’d forgotten about his scars. He’d always been so careful when he was younger never to let her see them, even going so far as to wear shirts when they went swimming.

  It had been too long and so much of that part of him was in the past. He’d gotten lazy and sloppy, and now she could see the harsh truth of his younger life.

  “Are they burns?” she asked quietly.

  He shouldn’t have been surprised really. She was a nurse after all. Not just that, she was an ER nurse. Likely it wasn’t the first time she’d seen burns.

  Zane nodded.

  She swallowed. “How?”

  He thought about lying. It’d be easy. He could make up so many stories. Why not keep it a secret like he had during all those years they knew each other?

  Zane stared into her sea green eyes and knew it was over. He was tired of hiding the truth. It was so long ago it didn’t even matter. And it wasn’t like the people responsible had any power over him now.

  “Stepdad,” he said.

  Ellen’s brows knit together.

  Zane shrugged. “Typically there was alcohol involved, but there didn’t need to be. Sometimes just the look of my face used to piss him off. And so he’d teach me… lessons, he called them.”

  “Your stepfather did that to you? Oh my God.”

  Ellen leaned forward a little and traced the faded mark on his chest. He looked down and watched as her finger skimmed the spot.

  “He didn’t burn me often,” he said. “It was too noticeable, but there was always a good beating at least. Mercy wasn’t something he really thought was a good idea.”

  A sort of choked sound barely escaped Ellen’s mouth, and her eyes filled with unshed tears. “And beating you wasn’t noticeable?”

  He shrugged. “Just sort of blended in with all the other cuts and bruises. If someone saw me messed up, they just assumed I was out causing trouble.”

  He had spent his whole childhood fighting. Both at school and at home. Wasn’t much a wonder he found a way to use that strength to make a living. At least now, he could use it to help people instead of just hurting them.

  “What about your mom?” she whispered.

  He shook his head. “She loved him, and I wasn’t important. So what he did wasn’t important. I was just leftovers from her past failed relationship. Same sort of guy, just a different day.”

  The warmth of her palm spread out against his chest. “Why didn’t you say anything? We would have helped.” Tears streamed down her face.

  A lump formed in his throat. What the hell was he supposed to say? That if he did, the state might have taken him away from the only people to care about him? Take him away from her?

  He couldn’t risk CPS sending him off to some foster home far away. There was no guarantee they would have let him stay with Ellen’s family.

  And now he couldn’t admit the truth of how he felt to Ellen, couldn’t draw her closer to him. He’d help her escape the mob, and she could go back to her safe life, a life without him.

  “It wouldn’t have mattered,” he said quietly. “Besides, I made it out okay.”

  He tried to give a small smile, but she clearly wasn’t buying it.

  “We could have still helped,” she said, this time with more fight behind her words. “The idea you were suffering like that, and we just… we should have realized it. We were blind.” More tears came out. “We should have known!”

  Zane pulled back, and she dropped her hand to his leg.

  “Look, I didn’t want you getting involved,” he said. “I did what I had to do. Sometimes you just deal with the shit that’s in front of you, and it is what it is. My stepdad was the bastard who did this to me, not you.”

  She wiped away the tears. Her sadness seemed to have been swallowed by rage.

  “It’s not your fault,” Zane repeated.

  Her hand on his leg balled into a small fist. “Oh, you make me so fuck—”

  For a moment, he thought she might just slap him as she lurched forward. He wouldn’t fight it. If she needed to hit him in frustration, he’d let her get it out.

  It didn’t even dawn on him that she was continuing to move forward until her body was flush with his and her hot lips pressed against his mouth.

  Chapter Eleven

  Passion blew away all of Ellen’s frustration. The minute their mouths met, her mind settled on her desire, all but forgetting everything she’d been worrying about just seconds before.

  Zane’s mouth was hungry under her own. She hadn’t really expected to kiss him, but she was just so frustrated in so many ways her body had moved to act on its own.

  She had no regrets. If anything, it was the opposite.

  Now that she could think, though, Ellen didn’t want to stop. No, she couldn’t stop, not without regretting it every day for the rest of her life.

  She was tired of running away from her feelings and playing it safe. Tired of denying that she wanted him. She’d liked to pretend she’d never thought about him these past five years, but she’d never let herself forget Zane, always asking Dean for scraps of information on him.

  For years, she’d hoped Zane would notice her as a woman. Her kiss had accomplished just that. She wasn’t just some childhood friend, but someone who wanted him, and hoped he wanted her.

  Now, with their mouths pressed together, she finally had Zane. She continued to pour all her feelings into the kiss.

  “El,” he mumbled around her lips.

  She shifted and moved from the awkward position of part-way sitting on his lap and straddled him. When she had launched herself at him, Zane had wedged himself into the corner of the couch, leaving just enough room on either side for her knees.

  She could feel the hard length of him pressed against her thigh. That was the proof. His body couldn’t lie. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him.

  She bit her lip, and her panties grew wet with the feel of him, especially with just a few scraps of fabric separating them from one another. So close to bliss, so close. She wanted more.

  Ellen threaded her fingers into his hair and kissed him with a new fervor. She had yearned for him for so long now. Years and years of her need bottled up inside had poured out, its dam destroyed by her frustration.

  Running away from her feelings wouldn’t do any good, and there was no containing this even if she wanted to fight it. She needed him that badly.

  With more confidence than normal, Ellen teased and explored the edge of his lips with her tongue.

  She gasped with surprise when Zane opened his mouth and invaded her own with his skilled tongue. His actions destroyed any lingering doubts she had about him wanting this just as much as she did.

  Maybe he’d want a long-term relationship, maybe he wouldn’t. At that moment, she didn’t really care. The tiny spot in her thoughts that whispered for her to slow down vanished.

  A moan grew from deep inside her as Zane worked his magic, his tongue twining with hers in the most erotic kiss she’d ever experienced.

  It wasn’t like she was a virgin or anything, but the way he kissed her made her wonder just what the hell she had been missing out on with the few men she had been with. Too many damn wasted years.

  His strength, intensity, and skill made her shiver. Pressure was already building in her, and all they’d done was kiss. More, she needed more.

  He stroked the sides of her body and stilled when he reached her hips. Slowly he slipped under her t-shirt and wrapped his fingers around the skin of her hips, an eager glint in his eyes.

  She shivered as he teased the small scrap of lace on either side of her hips
. She was thankful that she’d washed her thong from the day before. They were really doing this.

  With one swift move, Zane jerked her hips forward until her heat was just over his hard, though still covered, cock.

  Ellen pulled back from his mouth and slipped her hands onto his shoulders. Her hips moved of their own volition.

  Zane’s mouth moved down her neck. The stubble from his chin scraped against the tender skin there as he placed hot kisses on her rapid pulse.

  Ellen moved a little faster over him. Her clit throbbed with each move she made. Warmth radiated through her whole body.

  “Fuck,” she groaned. She was going to lose it before he was even inside of her.

  Zane brought his mouth to her ear. She could hear how hard he was breathing and knew he felt the same burning desire she was feeling, even without considering his rigid cock.

  “That’s it, baby,” Zane said.

  His fingers skimmed up her ribs, all the while pulling the shirt up as he went.

  Ellen panted hard when he touched the sides of her breasts. His thick calloused fingers offered just the right amount of contrasting roughness to her softness.

  Zane pulled on the shirt, and she lifted her arms over her head. She was ready to shed every last piece of clothing that came between them. Ready for every part of him.

  He dropped the shirt on the other side of the couch. His hot eyes stared at all the exposed skin.

  Normally Ellen might have covered herself, but she was too far gone. His hard length pressed so hard against her clit that she knew it wouldn’t be long before she was crying out her release and demanding more.

  “Fucking beautiful,” Zane said, his voice low.

  Her hands slid down his chest, and their eyes locked as she did so. Ellen let her fingers trace all the lines she’d been staring at before. The hard planes of his pecs and the rolling hard abs.

  She trailed her nails over the ridges there as she made her way back up his chest and then stopped. One finger ran lightly over the faded burn she’d found.

  “I agree,” she whispered.