Finn Read online

  Alyssa rubbed her aching shoulder. It felt a little warm, and she worried that she might have done too much. Not that Conor let her do much of anything. She glared at his back as he slipped into the office.

  Finn and Conor pissed her off to no end. They were always bossing her around and acting like she couldn’t do anything for herself.

  She grabbed out the jar of olives for a martini and grunted in pain when she tried to grip it with her bad hand. She placed it between her thighs and tried again.

  “Damn it,” she said and slammed the jar onto the bar.

  “I don’t think that’s going to open it,” a man said at the end.

  She looked up and was surprised to see that he was very good looking. She saw a number of good-looking men at the club, but he was outside the norm and well dressed. He had a nice face and despite his lean build, it was obvious from his forearms that it was all muscle.

  “Would you like some help?” he said and held out his hand.

  Alyssa smiled, grateful she wouldn’t have to go into the office and ask the assholes. They would just take it as a sign that the worst had yet to come.

  “Thank you,” she said and handed him the jar.

  With a pop, the lid came free. Their fingers touched when he handed it back, and her face heated.

  The man leaned forward and smiled. “That’s a much better look for you than the scowl you were wearing.”

  She groaned. She really was going to have to start watching what sort of face she was making.

  “Sorry,” she said. “It’s my first night back since the injury.”

  Alyssa reached under the counter and pulled out some ibuprofen. She tossed a couple back.

  “That doesn’t seem strong enough to help with and injury like that,” he said with a frown.

  Alyssa laughed. “It’s not really, but the pain killers make me groggy.” She leaned forward. “And to be honest,” she said in a dramatic whisper. “My boss can be a pain in the ass. He thinks I can’t handle this, and he’ll send me right home.”

  The man gave a laugh. “Well I’m glad that didn’t happen.”

  Alyssa smiled. It had been a long time since someone flirted with her. It was nice to be seen as a woman again. Her ex had been such a cruel man she didn’t know if she’d ever want to see a man romantically again.

  “Me too,” she said shyly.

  “You know what always works for me?” He leaned forward, and she noticed his smoky green eyes.

  Alyssa shook her head.

  “A shot of whiskey.” He smiled. “Will you let me buy you one?”

  She smiled. It wasn’t often that she took someone up on a drink. Most were just looking to get into your pants, but it might be nice to share a drink with someone like him.

  “I’d like that.” She smiled. “Nice to meet you,” she said. “I’m Alyssa.”

  He slipped his hand into hers.

  “Dylan,” he said.

  She got out two tumbler glasses and poured in the amber liquid.

  “To speedy healing,” he said.

  She smiled. “I’ll drink to that,” she said.

  The whiskey burned as it went down, but she finished it off.

  He raised an eyebrow at her. “A woman that can hold her own.” He grinned. “Did I mention I liked that?”

  Alyssa grinned and took their glasses to the sink.

  When she came back, he was gathering his things to leave. “I’ve got a meeting in the morning,” he said and seemed sad to be going. “I’ve enjoyed our chat.”

  Alyssa smiled. “Same here,” she said. “Come back, and see me again.”

  “Oh, you can be sure of that.” He winked. She felt her cheeks burn again and watched as he walked away.

  * * *

  Despite the medicine and whiskey, her shoulder still ached. The doctors said she was lucky the bullets hadn’t shattered the bone. Sometimes she didn’t feel lucky. Though it was only a compound fracture, it still hurt like hell. The muscle inside had been ripped up, and the puckered skin was still sensitive to the touch, so much so that she’d been forced to wear strapless bras, which just didn’t offer as much support as she wanted.

  She touched the scar down further on her chest and reminded herself just how lucky she had been. If the bullets had hit a fraction more to the left, she’d be dead. At the times when she felt the lowest, she tried to remember that.

  Alyssa dragged herself to the office to finish the paperwork. She hated to admit it, but she was slightly glad to have someone right there with her. After everything that had happened in the club, she didn’t know if she could handle the silence now that the club was closed. She sighed. She just wished it didn’t have to be Finn.

  She walked in and found him hunkered over some files. He looked up at her and smiled, then frowned.

  “Is it hurting you?” he asked. He stared at the spot where her hand touched her heart.

  Alyssa dropped her hand.

  “Just sore,” she said and sat in the chair.

  “You’re pushing too hard.” He sighed, closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I knew we should have waited longer. Six weeks just isn’t long enough.”

  Alyssa frowned at him. “My doctor released me for work.”

  Finn stood up, anger blazing in his eyes. “Well, he’s an idiot. You obviously aren’t ready.”

  He stomped over and glared at her from across the desk. His anger crackled in the room.

  “Have you been drinking?” he asked quietly. His green eyes fixed intently on her.

  Alyssa swallowed.

  “Yes,” she said and pulled up her courage. “What’s the big deal?”

  He placed both hands on her desk and leaned in. She stared at his long lashes and swallowed hard. “The problem is that you were just shot six weeks ago. Now you’re going to start drinking?”

  “A customer bought me one drink,” she said and stood. “You’ve never had a problem with this before. Quit acting like my mother.”

  He leaned in closer. The vein in his neck popped out a little. “You’re right. I’m not your mother. I’m your boss.”

  “If you were just my boss, I never would have taken bullets for you,” she whispered.

  Silence filled the room. Their breathing was ragged, and for a second, she wondered if he was going to kiss her or hit her. She shook her head a little.

  “You’re not going to intimidate me,” she said. “I’m not the same person I was. Being shot didn’t just hurt me. It changed me.”

  Worry creased his brow. He leaned back slowly, the anger replaced with fear. True fear. Despite how he had acted, she had the urge to comfort his fear.

  He turned swiftly away from her and walked to the side of his desk. She watched his retreating back and thought about going to him.

  They jumped at a knock at the door.

  “I’m ready to take Alyssa home,” Noel said when he opened the door.

  She swallowed and looked back to Finn, who was now sitting at the desk, busy with paperwork.

  “I’m going to go early,” she said quietly. “Maybe I did overdo it.”

  Finn looked up to her with surprise.

  “I’ll finish my paperwork Monday,” she said.

  He gave a nod and looked back down at the files.

  She watched him for a second. Everything from their fight was gone from his face. She sighed.

  “Goodnight, Finn,” she said quietly and shut the office door.

  She followed behind Noel and stared at his bald head. He wasn’t one of the men she saw very much, and, for the most part, she was glad. He was covered in tattoos, big and quiet. She’d learned that quietest men were ones that had the most to be quiet about.

  They walked to his car in silence. He held the door open for her as she climbed into the front seat of his polished BMW. She wondered how any of them saw out the windows when they kept them tinted so dark, but she figured it was so bad guys couldn’t see in. Well, other bad guys.

&nbs
p; They drove quietly for a moment before she spoke.

  “So are you a cousin?” she asked.

  He nodded. “I’m Finn’s cousin.”

  She frowned for a moment.

  “So you aren’t all cousins to each other? But then how are you family?”

  She watched as the corner of his mouth twitched.

  “We’re all family because our families have known each other forever. I’m blood related to Finn on our mothers’ sides. We are several families that live as one family,” he said.

  He might have looked scary, but she liked the sound of his voice. It was rough like gravel but soft.

  “So did you all play together as boys?” She turned in her seat to watch him. Years of serving had taught her how important body language was. She didn’t want to talk to Finn or Conor about these sorts of things, so Noel represented a good opportunity.

  His hands tensed on the wheel. “We didn’t play like most.”

  Alyssa frowned. “Well then, what did you all do?”

  He glanced over at her, and she knew he was debating whether to tell her or not. He sighed.

  “Dismantled guns, learned to shoot, fight and worked in the family businesses,” he said. His mouth was a firm line.

  “What business does your family own?” She smiled at him.

  His jaw ticked, and she knew she’s stepped on a sore spot for him.

  “A gun store.”

  His words were final sounding, and she was certain asking anything else would ruin her chances of talking to him again.

  They stopped outside her apartment. It was a three-floor building, and her little apartment resided on the second floor. The gentle glow from the lamp she’d left on lit up the window. She turned back to Noel and smiled.

  “It’s good you have such a big family. I was passed around to different foster homes, and a big and permanent family is something I always wished I had.”

  He looked at her for a moment with the look she hated most, pity.

  “Family is a good thing,” he said quietly.

  She smiled. “Goodnight, Noel,” she said and climbed out of the car.

  She sighed as she punched in the code to the building. It was good that the owner was upgrading the place, but she worried that it would get upgraded outside of what she’d be able to afford. Finn was paying her generously, but if she ever wanted to get ahead, she’d need to start saving. Now that she didn’t have some asshole taking all her money, she might actually be able to do that.

  Alyssa stopped at the elevator and smiled. Maybe all the updates weren’t a bad thing. She’d spent the first few weeks at her place struggling to make it up the stairs. The pain killers made her dizzy and weak. It was nice not having to struggle up those stairs late at night.

  She rode the elevator up and sighed when she saw her door. When she went to put the key in the lock, there was a red rose resting on the handle. She rolled her eyes and picked it up.

  “Very nice,” she said to herself. “Too bad it doesn’t help me get a new therapist.”

  Alyssa shut the door behind her and set the bolt in place. She slipped the rose into the bouquet she had sitting on the table. The stark red stood out against the yellow and white flowers her friend Haley had bought her.

  She blinked her droopy eyes and went into the bedroom. It had been a long day, and she was too beat to even try and watch TV.

  She gathered a pair of shorts and a tank from her dresser. It was so much easier wearing a tank at night, and luckily, the heat of summer was starting to set in. She really didn’t think she could bear having something rubbing against her scars all night.

  A yawn escaped her as she snuggled down into the covers. Her thoughts drifted back to Finn. There were so many things that she liked about him, but when he loomed over her, she felt her heart drop into her stomach. The bigger problem was that she didn’t know if she was scared or turned on.

  Being with Mike had fucked her up, and she worried that maybe she had some perverse need to be controlled. The idea made her shake inside. She closed off those thoughts and tried to relax. She was planning to enjoy her next two days off.

  Chapter Three

  Finn sat in the tiny office waiting on the last of the reports to go through. He stared at her desk while he waited. She had seemed so small earlier when she told him she wasn’t afraid. It pained him to have to think that he ever meant to make her feel that way.

  Last thing he ever wanted to do was make a woman feel that way, especially after growing up the way he had, frightened that any day would be the day his father snapped, watching his mother being savagely beaten, usually in defense of Ennis or himself.

  He had to make Alyssa understand.

  Someone knocked at the door, and he placed his hand on his gun. Nights like this made him a good target, and it didn’t hurt to be prepared.

  “Come in,” he said.

  Conor strolled in and cocked a brow at him.

  “Expecting company?” he said and took a seat.

  Finn relaxed and took his hand off his gun. “I’m expecting anything right now. It’s a good way to not end up dead.”

  “Well that’s good because things aren’t looking so great with the men,” Conor said. His sandy brown hair dipped onto his forehead. “There’s talk. Some think that Ennis will give them more profit.”

  Finn gripped the desk so hard his fingers popped. Every time he heard his brother’s name, the betrayal burned deeper.

  “Any of them talking about leaving?” he asked.

  Conor shook his head. “Not after Ennis left Dale out to dry.”

  Finn snorted. “Bastard shouldn’t have shot Alyssa.” His face twisted in anger. Not only had Dale been a rat bastard traitor, but he’d shot Alyssa. Twice. The traitor had a world of pain coming to him.

  “Yeah, well, the whole thing with Dale is going to blow over, and when that happens, some of the men are going to leave,” Conor said. He stared at Finn for a moment before he spoke again. “What’s the plan when that happens?”

  Finn shrugged. “We hope that it’s only a few, and we don’t have to meet again.”

  “And if we do?” Conor sat up a little.

  “It will be at the barrel of a gun.”

  “But we’re not going to stop them?”

  Finn shook his head. “They might leave and come back. Maybe Ennis’s way of life isn’t the slice of cake they are being sold.”

  Conor shook his head. “Not like your father at all.”

  “My father’s way was cruel without meaning and doesn’t turn the profit it once did,” Finn said and slammed his fist on the desk. “We’ve got to stop living life like it’s the old days and embrace the freedoms that come with the new.”

  Conor held up his hands in surrender. “I’m on your side.”

  Finn sighed and scrubbed a hand across his eyes. “I know. I’m tired, and it seems like every direction I go I’m being blocked.”

  “We’ll get it figured out,” Conor said. “Claire is a pro at finding dirt.”

  Finn chuckled. “Don’t let her hear you say that.”

  “Just one more black mark next to my name,” Conor said. “Our feud goes so far back that I’m not even sure when it started.”

  “Well I’m sure she could tell you next time she’s in,” Finn laughed.

  Conor sat up quickly. “No thanks. I think I’ll keep things just like they are. Me with my balls still in place and her about twenty feet away.”

  Finn snickered.

  Conor stood up and stretched. “You going home tonight?”

  Finn shook his head. “Liam is beat,” he said. “Hell, we’re all beat. Not knowing who we can trust and can’t has taken a toll on all of us.”

  “What about Noel?” Conor asked.

  “He was on part of last night and part of today. You were on all of today.” Finn sighed. “It’s fine. Noel will wait until I get there, and then we’ll switch.”

  “We know you go there even if someone’s on,”
Conor said quietly.

  Finn knew his men were just worried, but he really didn’t have an explanation.

  “She’s my responsibility,” he said quietly.

  “And so she’s ours,” Conor said with force. “Trust us.”

  Finn’s eyes snapped up to his oldest friend, and he wondered if the others felt the same. “It’s not about trust.” He shook his head. “It just has to be me. I have to know she’s okay.”

  His chest tightened every time he thought about her being in trouble without him around.

  “Okay,” Conor said. “I think I understand.”

  Finn nodded and tried not to think about what was going through Conor’s head. His men knowing that he had faith in them meant more than that.

  “Well I’m off to bed then, boss.” He grinned. “Don’t work too late.”

  Finn gave a wave and looked back at the monitor.

  “About fucking time,” he mumbled.

  The books were updated and a copy sent to the accountant. It was his turn to leave.

  * * *

  Alyssa woke up in a panic. Sweat drenched her pillow and coated her face. They always seemed so real. The dreams of Mike. She’d wake up shaken and crying. Two years with him had created a lifetime of nightmares. It just didn’t seem fair.

  She took a deep breath and steadied her nerves.

  “He’s not here,” she said aloud. “He can’t hurt you.”

  She repeated the mantra in her head a few more times before opening her eyes. The light from the street outside filtered into the room. Alyssa climbed out of bed and made her way to the bathroom.

  When she had finished with her business, she plodded through her room to the kitchen. Her hand shook only slightly when she filled her glass, and she was glad things were slowly improving. At least now she didn’t wake up screaming or stay lost in her dream/wake state for prolonged periods.

  She took another drink but stopped when her eye caught something outside. Down on the street, just across the road, there he sat. His deep gray sports car stood out among the beaters on the block. Of course, when you were a mob boss, you didn’t really have to worry about the local thugs messing with it.